I am an experimental soft-matter physicist.
So taking the first word: experimental. This is one of the three great kingdoms of physics, the others being computer simulation and the theory. "Experimental" means I spend a large part of my time trying to do actually experiments on objects in the real world, this may involve substantial computational work to process the output data and should generally involve some comparison to theory when published, although serious development of theory tends to end up in the hands of specialists. Computer simulation is distinct from from theory: simulation is like doing an experiment in a computer - give a set of entities some rules to live by and set them at it, measure results after some time. Theory on the other hand attempts to model the measurements without the fuss of explicitly modelling each entity in the collection.
Next to the physicist bit: In a sense theory is the essence of what physics is about: building an accurate model of the world. The important thing with physics is abstraction, to take an example I'm interested in granular materials; from a physics point of view this means I'm looking for a model that covers piles of ball bearings, avalanches, sand dunes, grain in silos, cereals in a box and possibly even mayonnaise all in a single framework.
And so to the final division: soft-matter. Physical Review Letters, which is the global house journal for physics, has the following subdivisions (in italics):
- General Physics: Statistical and Quantum Mechanics, Quantum Information, etc; Domain of Schrödingers cat, Alice and Bob exchanging secure messages, and Bose-Einstein condensates.
- Gravitation and Astrophysics; Physicists go large. Stephen Hawking lives here - black holes, the big bang.
- Elementary Particles and Fields; down to the bottom, with things very small studied by things very large (like the Large Hadron Collider at CERN). Here be Prof Brian Cox.
- Nuclear Physics; The properties of the atomic nucleus, including radioactivity, fission and fusion. This is Jim Al-Khalili's field.
- Atomic, Molecular, and Optical Physics; Stuff where single atoms and molecules are important, things like spectroscopy, fluorescence and luminescence go here.
- Nonlinear Dynamics, Fluid Dynamics, Classical Optics, etc; Pendulums attached to pendulums, splashes and invisibility cloaks!
- Plasma and Beam Physics; Matter in extreme conditions of temperature: fusion power goes here.
- Condensed Matter: Structure, etc; Condensed matter is stuff which isn't a gas - i.e. liquids and solids, and is acting in a reasonable size lump.
- Condensed Matter: Electronic Properties, etc; This is where your semiconductors, from which computer chips are made, live.
- Soft Matter, Biological, and Interdisciplinary Physics; Soft-matter refers to various squishy things, plastics, big stringy molecules in solution (polymers), little particles (colloids, like emulsion paint or mayonnaise), liquid crystals, and also granular materials (gravel, grain, sand and so forth).
Since I've provided a means to wind up most sorts of scientist in previous blog posts, I thought I could provide a few here for me. Theoreticians can wind me up by assuming that experiments, and the analysis of the resulting data, are trivially easy to do and if they don't fit their theory then I need to try again. Simulators I have a bit more sympathy with, simulations are experiments on a computer, however when you're writing a paper perhaps you should say in the title you ran a simulation, rather than did a proper experiment like a real man ;-)
Update: I made this post into a podcast: http://bit.ly/6EA17H - it's on Posterous because uploading of audio is easier. I used a basic Logitech headset microphone, Audacity to do the capture and editing with the Lame plugin for MP3 export. I'm not sure I'll do it again but it was fun to try!